I Cannot Live Without Potato Chips

I have a love hate relationship with potato chips.  I love them, I hate paying over $3/bag for them.  Today there are no potato chips in the house.  This is due to a lack of groceries in general, not some sad form of self deprivation.  But I need chips RIGHT NOW, and the way I see it, there are 2 options.  1)  Go to the store and get some, and then carry on with menu planning and grocery shopping; 2) Make some!  After a few moments on Google, I opted for #2.

It took 2 attempts to get it right.

#1.  Find a potato.  Slice it wafer thin with potato peeler.  Bang hand and swear a lot.  When there are enough slices to cover a salad plate (and patience is running out), lay slices on plate and grind sea salt over the top.  The directions say to cook for 4 minutes, then turn and cook 2 more, and to stop when they are spotted brown.  Set microwave for 4 minutes and leave.  Return to microwave at 3:30 and discover brown spots have occurred.  Remove plate from microwave.  Discover that dish is NOT microwave safe.  Drop it.  Discover that potato chips have adhered to the plate.  Chip them off.  Hope that this is not why they are called chips.  They are tasty.

#2.  Re-read directions that say to toss potatoes with olive oil.  Acknowledge that am too lazy.  Find glass pie plate and spray with organic cooking spray.  Find knife and slice the remaining half potato in thin slices.  Congratulate self on mad knife skills.  Arrange potato slices on plate.  Sprinkle with sea salt.  Place in microwave for 4 minutes.  Come back at 3:30 and see that they are not spotty at all, but look a little puffy like commercial chips.  Remove plate from microwave.  Get a fork and start to flip chips.  Decide this is too much work and use fingers.  Discover that potatoes that were touching have stuck together (starch = glue).  Decide this is good, and flip whole piece.  Put back in microwave and set for 2:00.  Press forehead against glass and watch potatoes spin.  Briefly wonder if a) am getting brain cancer, b) might be a little too interested in potato chips.  Notice that large brown spots are appearing on chips.  Remove chips.  Eat some.  Dance in victory.  Leave room to answer phone that is trilling.  Return to find remaining chips in disappearing into husband's mouth.

So, homemade potato chips a screaming success.  I will try the next batch in my 9 x 13 pryex dish.  Sea salt from a grinder is highly recommended and makes these taste like gourmet chips.   Try it, you'll like it!